Several years ago I came across the expression, “Nothing changes if nothing changes.” Having never heard that expression, I toyed with it in my mind – playing a sort of ping pong.
I decided that I really liked the expression. I went a step further after digesting what it really meant… and decided to put that expression into action.
Three things came to mind.
First, I hated flying. Yes, I flew everywhere and often, but the plane was just crap (for me). Wish I could’ve been like ‘I Dream of Jeannie’ and blinked my eyes to my destination.
I made a conscious decision to stop booking the window seat (my happy place, no idea why…) and book an aisle seat or the middle seat. Let me tell you, I found out that ANY seat is a good seat. I could have conversations with my left or my right seat mate. I could care less now where my seat is.
Look at that, I became a big girl 🙂
Secondly, I had never skied before and I was 50. So what did I do? Nothing changes if nothing changes – I went skiing in Colorado. Granted, I stayed on the bunny trail for hours, with a private instructor that was meant for the kids – but I hogged the instructor – not meaning to – but the kids just picked up skiing like they were born with skis on their feet.
I was terrified I was going too fast down the hill (my instructor told me several times, “trust me, you’re not going as fast as you think you are!”) She must’ve been dying of laughter inside. She was a great sport.
I think sipping a hot toddy in a ski lodge is more my style.
Lastly, peri/menopause was just a killer for me. I finally decided to go to a therapist. I learned two things from her that I still use today: conflict & confrontation are beautiful words AND speak my feelings.
The quiet little girl in me prefers to hide her feelings, not wanting to rustle any feathers. But after months of therapy, I finally figured out that it was ok to share my feelings.
And of course, NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES.
The last expression that I think is just wonderful is: “Don’t believe everything you think.”
A menopause brain is a horrible brain. You think things your never thought before and you worry about stuff you never worried about in the past.
The other day we were in our car and my husband says he would never want to bury any of our children. NO CRAP, NEITHER WOULD I. But then I got to thinking, as we often do at this age, heck, what IF I actually DO have to bury one of them? I started crying. So that’s both WORRYING about stuff I shouldn’t be THINKING about. Five years ago I would never have thought further than I didn’t want to bury any of our children either.
“Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.”
– Robert Eliot