You have probably noticed by now that my brain is all over the place. I have a zillion thoughts that bounce around (I think I have a true ADD mind) and what pours out are the questions that I post on GreyFeathers. Sometimes I have an opinion before I ask a question, sometimes I don’t. But I mostly want to hear from all of you.
I posted this question two weeks ago, “Was there anything in your life that was a horrible experience, but somehow you grew to have a happier life because of it?”
I had no idea what responses I would get, if any (I am truly shocked when I see comments). And then came Anastasia. She in-boxed me and said she had a story. So, I checked it out to see if it was true, and lo-and-behold, it was in the newspapers.
Tragedy and Gratitude
Around two years ago Anastasia, 53 at the time, was in a relationship with a man who was (looking back), narcissistic, jealous and angry. She had always worked in private home health care and as a certified nursing assistant in nursing homes.
She has been reading about the “narcissist & empath” relationship and now understands why life unfolded as it did.
She had been out all day with her daughter and grandchildren at the beach, while her boyfriend had been home alone drinking beer, nearly 4 cases. He was calling her the last hour, but her phone was dying and in the middle of a call from him, the phone died. It was dark when they arrived back home. She said they had had an argument outside, laughed it off, and said she was going to bed.
Everyone was snug in their beds when she was woken up by a gunshot, that luckily missed her head by 12 inches. She froze, laid in bed for maybe a few seconds and what went through her mind was, “he may not miss a second time, but if I get up and face him, he might put the rifle down.” That’s exactly what she did, faced him and he put the rifle down, but hit her in the face, yelling at her to go wash her face as she was bleeding all over the place. By the time she got out of the bathroom he had the rifle at his mouth and said, “just pull the trigger.” She said, “not me, you got the wrong one for that too!”
He went into their bathroom and closed the door. She ran to get her daughter and grandchildren out of bed and put them in the back bathroom, which was made out of cinderblock, thank God. Her daughter called 9-1-1.
Anastasia ran outside calling for her boyfriend to come out as to get him away from her babies. He didn’t come out for a long time. She said, “I don’t know how long it was… I heard shots, a lot of them. They would stop and start again. I was calling him… begging him to come to me.” She felt panic stricken and terrorized because she didn’t know what was going on. She said she literally prayed these words, “It’s ok God, I’m ok with coming home, but, keep them (my babies) safe. Please just keep them safe!”
While she was outside she had called her friend, who stayed with her until the policed arrived. The police report said there were 30 shell casings found. Her ex is in jail awaiting trial for attempted murder.
Her grandchildren only remember grandma waking them up and hearing “fireworks” outside. They are doing well.
Anastasia has a new appreciation for life. She moved thousands of miles away and bought her first house! And she found love again, with a man who is very patient with her PTSD – when she hears loud noises it gives her instant flash backs – he is understanding and supportive. They plan to be married next year and she is having fun shopping for her wedding dress.
There are a few things Anastasia wants you to take away from this. First, what has gotten her through life is her strength, tenacity, and spiritual commitment. She says, “If you are going through something horrible, know that there are a lot of people that are waiting to help who are supportive and kind. Trust will be hard, but go slow… take small steps.”
Lastly, she didn’t understand how her ex missed her head, but now she KNOWS. God had a plan for her. She said, “I am in awe that God spared me… I must have more to do.”