I AM very proud of my husband for being as successful as he is. Being focused, financially driven, goal oriented, super hard working, giving personal attention to his clients – going above what was expected of him, is what has gotten him to where he is today.
If you have a successful spouse, you also know what goes along with the above: time away from home.
I felt like a single mother for a long time. Not so much now (he works less now and never on a Sunday), but in the past, for like 12 years he would leave at 7:30am and return at 7:30pm. He worked every single day of every week. I raised four children virtually alone.
Every sports practice or game, my husband rarely got to see. My oldest son suffered from depression, and was very combative in his middle school and early high school years. At one point I had my children in four different schools and with no bus service, I had to drop each one off and pick each one up every day. When he was home, he was either on his laptop or on his phone most of the time. Any family vacation always included some sort of client meeting, or him on his phone or laptop.
If he had any off time mapped out, he chose to go to Italy. Italy was (is) his girlfriend.
It was as if our little family didn’t exist to him. It felt to me as if my wants and needs meant nothing to him. I held a lot of resentment for a long time.
He would say, “you don’t understand, I am stressed and going to Italy helps me re-group so I can be a better me.”
Dude, what about MY stress? Try being both mom and dad. Along with my mother passing away in 2008! And menopause.
The plus side was that when he was home, he helped me (in addition to being on his electronics). I rarely gave the little ones a bath, he enjoyed that time with them. Financially, we didn’t have that stress. He was always loving and affectionate. And I know he wanted to be successful so that he could provide for our family.
When I look back now, I don’t know how I managed to deal with everything on my own.
I fell out of love with him and back in love with him.
He was then, what he is today, my best friend.