Back Pain Surgery this Month

I’m 54 and my husband is 54. I haven’t had a heart attack or a stroke or anything devastating like that. But I am in a LOT of pain from a severe back problem and having surgery to hopefully fix it this month on the 19th. For the past two months it’s gotten worse and worse day by day. I take meds that don’t touch it or even take the edge off. I’ve asked the doctor to try different meds but I’m not willing to try Oxy. I’m irritable and cranky. The meds make me stupid and I HATE that I need them, even if it is (I hope and pray) temporary. My husband is irritated with me because of the loopyness. I’m forgetful, easily confused, and I forget words. It’s difficult to express myself verbally. This all frustrates him as much as it frustrates me. We’re both angry I’m in this situation. I feel like this is worse than childbirth as it’s 24/7 with no guaranteed end in sight.