Angry Cat

Raw Angry Emotions

My mom was diagnosed with Stage 1 Small Cell Lung Cancer in 2006. I will never forget where I was, who I was with, and what I was doing.

Here’s the God part.

I was crying every single night for the first two weeks, waking up at un-Godly hours walking into the family room as not to wake my husband so that I could sit and cry.

Gotta tell ya, I was seriously thinking of buying stock in Tylenol. Must’ve popped eight of them every day and my poor red puffy eyes… I must’ve been a real sight.

On the last day in those first two weeks, I went outside and walked around my pool, it was about 10pm. I looked up to the sky and yelled at the top of my lungs, “God, where the heck are You? I thought You said You would carry us in times of need. Well I’m freaking needy and really sad… I don’t feel You carrying me. I am angry with You, You promised me You would carry me. I can’t do it without You.”

I was fed up with God and I gave up.

But would you know that that was the first night of every night going forward that I slept straight through the night?


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