Abusive to Women

This post is also available in: Italiano (Italian) Anonymous asks, “I would like to ask the group how…

This post is also available in: Italiano (Italian)

Anonymous asks, “I would like to ask the group how they deal with a son or grandson who is abusive to women, their girlfriends and wives, the ones who physically and verbally abuse women and bully them….

I have a grandson (he is 25 years old) who is an abuser and my dislike for him grows as time goes on… I can hardly be in the same room with him any more and now we don’t get along because he says I always take the women’s side and don’t see his side… one of these women is the mother to his son, my great grandson, and we have a good relationship. She has full custody and my grandson has lost his rights. My grandson and I fight because I continue to have a relationship with her and my great grandson who is four years old.

There is no history of this behavior in our family and he has never witnessed this as a child… and he was not abused in any manor as far as I know as a child either, he was adored and spoiled by all…”

  1. Call the Police. Get the victim to a safe house. Don’t tolerate it for one second. It is a crime. I was abused and I know what I’m talking about. Report the abuser NOW! Get her to a safe place NOW!

  2. If you are sure of the facts, make a formal complaint to the police. Maybe a wake up call in the cells will be what he needs. Keep up the relationship with the woman who is your greatgrandchild’s mother. Stay strong for them.

  3. Remove yourself from all contact. Arguing does no good. And upsets you. You do not have to attend every argument you are invited to. Toxic people can not be changed. The only one you can change is yourself so eliminate him from your life immediately.

  4. This is so sad because you love your grandson but I would limit all contact with him and tell him why. I also would tell his parents that you can no longer be around him. Only consequences may change his behavior, his parents should do the same.

  5. I see your great grandson and his mother are safe and your grandson has lost his rights. this means he has shown the courts he is violent and abusive. help this mother stay strong. it is hard to be alone. tell her that the most dangerous thing a child can do is get a step parent or common law step parent or a mother with a live in partner. because it is true. give your great grandson time with you and help him, let your grandson go if you can, it will be hard but it will help you heal. because you need to heal too

  6. I understand the situation your in mine is similar I have completely cut the abuser out of my life. Unfortunately, he is still in my daughter’s and grandchildren’s life.my daughter & I are on very good terms I baby sit my granddaughter. They know I love them very much. Just don’t want him around me. Only my thoughts.

  7. Tell him you love him but until he seeks counseling you cannot have any contact with him. Talk to his parents, ask them to do the same FOR HIM. Please be careful, he could turn on you.

  8. You seem to love your grandson but dislike his actions.tell him that and if he is willing to change support him , if not , try to limit contact as hard as that might be

    1. Speak with him. Help him, if possible, to see his past mistakes and learn from them. If that doesn’t work, try and get him to a therapist. Hopefully one avenue will work.

  9. I would cut all contact with him but continue to see your granddaughter in law and grandchild. Your grandson will not change unless he wants to. Don’t put up with any sort of abuse from him, verbal abuse is still abuse. Be safe and don’t hesitate to call the police if need be.

  10. Blessings to you for your love for your family including this young man that you do not understand the basis for his violent behavior. It is a warning. Please do not put you, this blessed child or his family in any jeopardy because you do not understand your Grandson’s mental illness. There is no reasoning with him. He needs professional guidance. He needs accurate diagnostic help to become aware that his behavior has impacted his life. Stay safe. Be wise, please understand that triggers differ for each individual but you may unwittingly provoke a conflict by engaging in these circular discussions. He needs help. He needs boundaries that he will not violate.

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