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18 hours ago

“My stepson has come out as non-binary and I just can’t wrap my head around it yet. I’ve seen celebrities do it and I brush it off as something weird. I don’t understand it and have yet to acknowledge this sudden change.

He acted out at 14 because he felt alone and that no one cared for him. Then he told everyone he was bisexual.

Ok, but why tell everyone? I’m bisexual so I understood that. But most gay or bisexuals don’t want additional labels. They just want to be known by who they are as people. I’ve had a friend who turned into a woman. I also get that. But now he’s telling everyone he isn’t a man or woman and his chosen name is something funny like Casper (the Friendly Ghost). Is he seeking attention, is this a phase, or is he’s truly this person now?
Right now, neither his father nor I understand it at all. It’s almost a slap in his parents face and the person whom he was named after. We get this is his or their journey, but until he changed his body and legally changed his name, I’m afraid to call them/their Casper. I hope people can be kind in their advice because we’re totally clueless as to what non-binary is.” -Angie ... See MoreSee Less

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ANONYMOUS WRITES: "Angie, how fabulous that your step-child feels safe enough to tell you something so massive - many people live for years unable to tell their family something so huge. As a parent I was prepared for potentially a child being gay but when they came out as transgender it totally threw me. I didn’t know much about it so I talked and listened to my child and did lots of research. Lots of people struggle to understand gender identity issues and my advice would be to be there for them, listen and support. Be sure that they know you are there for them. The outside world can be so cruel so home needs to be a safe place where they can be who they are. Counselling for the young person and parents can be useful but try to access someone experienced in gender issues as otherwise you could end up going round in circles (we did). I can highly recommend GenderGP for counselling. You don’t have to sign up for anything more than just sessions as you use them and it’s all on line (cost is comparable to any private counsellor). With your support your young person will find their way and learn to live as the person they are. Good luck!"

Love him..... unconditionally. Don't try to figure it out, that is what he is doing. Stand loyal, strong and supportive as he struggles through this part of his journey. He has not found his place or his purpose yet. Be patient. <3

We don’t have to understand people to respect their wishes - and in the meantime we are lucky we have such easy access to so much information at our finger tips to help us learn. Humans are so diverse and I like to think the more I learn, the more I feel grateful that life is so interesting 🌻

Unconditional love is just that…unconditional. Part of loving someone is respecting who they are and whether or not you understand it doesn’t change who they are. I’m the mother of a teenager who has recently come out as part of the LGBTQ community and it isn’t up to you to dismiss their wishes simply because you don’t understand it. Find a support group and try to be informed of their world. You will be glad you were an ally for them.

It's not a slap in the face to the person they are named after because they didn't ask for that name and don't owe nobody anything.

It’s not his job to fit into any kind of “mold”. What we don’t know, we fear. Ask him to explain it to you. To me, it sounds like he’s wanting to believe he has unconditional love from his family, and wants to include you in his life.

I wish you all the luck in the world...It's something I don't understand either...nor to be honest would I put much energy into trying...People are what they are...

I feel for you. The honesty given to you is most important and the trust shown to you in having even having the conversation is even more important than anything. No one on this planet has any idea what is truly in someone’s mind, or what they are thinking. My advice is love your child unconditionally ❤️

I think he just wants to be a person. Loved as he is.. a human being. There may be many other manifestations, just go with it..as my dad said to me, no good worrying about something you can’t fix.

Identity seeking behavior of youth. They have very little experience at life. They need lots of unconditional love, gentle guidance. Continuous affirmation of self worth and acceptance.

My 12 year old Granddaughter tells me she is pansexual. I don't know what that means although she has tried to explain it to me. All I know is that I love her with all of my heart.

Ignore it. If it’s a phase it will end eventually. These kids see stuff on TV and Internet and decide to follow. Also the early teen years are difficult for most kids. Trying to find their identity. I wouldn’t get too upset.

He is doing his best to cope bless him. He's got the full whack of teenage hormones plus the new physical and emotional feelings to cope with. My grandaughter has a friend who refers to herself as 'they'. This is how she wishes to be known and fortunately her friends and family support her. My grandson has come out as gay at 18, but hey He's still my grandson. All you can do is love and support, support. Ask your son what he needs in his life and how you can help him. xjx

Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to understand. Don’t ask why. Love them and be honest about your confusion but be sure to keep the focus on them. Leave sorting your own feelings out for therapy.

They are telling you who they are. Why is it difficult? They identified as bisexual, now non-binary. You identify as bisexual. This is not an attempt to acquire a label. It’s a expression of who they are. Period. If you have questions, ask. There are plenty of support groups to help you.

Gender binary is the classification of gender into two distinct, opposite forms of masculine and feminine, whether by social system or cultural belief. Most cultures use a gender binary, having two genders (boys/men and girls/women). When somebody declares themselves as non binary it means they chose not to be recognised as either masculine or feminine/man or woman. They’re effectively declaring themselves as “a human”, neither identifying as a he or a she. Neutral if you like. I don’t understand why it’s become a term - but it has? To be honest this new world seems unrecognisable in its acceptabilities. Seems that anything goes these days. You’ve just got to roll with it, seems mainly to be millennials and zoomers adopting the trends. Look up snowflake children, another term that’s really kind of sad and seems like a lost soul identity.

Stop taking this personally, stop making it personal. Start loving them unconditionally, start listening without judgement instead an open mind. If you do this you might understand and if you still don’t understand that’s ok. We don’t always need to. They are still the same human they always have been they have chosen their label. Think about the many labels you have that were either chosen by you or for you ie, mom, wife, grandma, woman etc. Don’t let this cloud your vision, he really just wants to be loved not judged, don’t we all

Your feelings count and they matter, this is your part of the journey. Trying to meet others standards of fictitious unconditional love ( there is no such thing ) may end up causing misunderstandings and resentments. We make this harder than it is. Your step-son’s sexuality/gender identity is his business , don’t sweat it. Everything is still the same, house hold rules and standards, day to day living. Ask him for patience while you remember his preferences and be patient while he

I beleive its better to be kind but stick with the truth. Non binary is made up except for the birth defect in hermaphrodite. Our young people are being sorely confused as to gender and sexuality. Girls are she/her. Boys are he/him and it takes more then one person to be they. We need to quit delving into this lie and calling it truth and maybe our young folks will find their way to the truth of who they are and figure it out in a healthy way instead of being offended their whole lives at each person who messes up their chosen pronoun

He is 14, struggling like all 14 year olds and trying to find his way. My advice is to give him the room he needs to find himself. My child, 29 year old, came out as bi-sexual at 16. I knew when they were around 7 that they were more than likely gay, so I was not surprised at 16. Many come out initially as bi-sexual as it doesn’t seem as difficult and quite honestly, again, I think they are trying to figure it all out still. They went from bi to lesbian back to being bisexual and along with several other deviations before he came out three years ago as trans. Yup. I was shocked and it took some doing to be able to wrap my head around it all, however, girl or boy, that’s my child. I asked that he go to counseling for one year before making any drastic decisions one way or another and then two years ago on 7-31-2019, he began taking testosterone. He is happy, confident, well liked, successful and in a committed relationship. How has our relationship changed? Other than using he, him, they or their, it hasn’t changed one bit. He is my CHILD. I love him and I support him. As a mother , I only want 3 things from my children, to be productive members of society, to be self sufficient and most importantly, to be happy. He is all three. Give your stepson the room and acceptance to explore and figure out who HE is. Not your idea, mine or the rest of society on what he should be but who he is. Being able to identify ourselves when we are younger is extremely important. The fact that he told you is HUGE.

I'm a 70 year old grandma working to get the name and pronouns right. I don't really understand it either but, love my young relatives with all my heart. I don't need to figure it out. That's up to the Lord who is all knowing, far more kind and loving than we will ever be.

Best wishes navigating these strange new waters. If you can find out whether this came from inside or outside him, whether it came from his own inner thoughts and feelings or from propaganda at school, it might help you know how to proceed. But most of all, he needs your love and acceptance. In you shoes though, I would make him wait until he's of legal age for any surgeries since they are not reversible.

Just don't allow any surgeries or drug altering therapies until 18.... supportive yes of course but no surgeries... good luck🤞✌

Why is it a slap in their parent's face? This is the young person's life, decisions and journey, nobody else's and I think other people need to stop centring themselves. If you're truly interested, have you tried asking them what it means to them? If talking to them directly isn't an issue, there are plenty of organisations that would provide helpful information.

Just roll with it. Call them Casper. Save yourself and them stress and anguish. It's just a pronoun and name. They are still the same amazing person they were a year ago.

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GreyFeathers

2 days ago

Have a grateful heart💓 ... See MoreSee Less

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Always trust your instincts

Walk with God always! 🙏🙌❤

Look after your knees 😣

Always call your mom.

Put God first Always!

Dance like nobodies watching.

“When in doubt... DON’T”. My grandmother.

Show kindness to everyone.

Be instrumental, not ornamental.

Be grateful every day. Speak up as needed. Appreciate those you love. Always trust your instincts. Listen with full care. Be good to yourself. Actions tell us all. Treat others with respect (and expect the same).

Don’t ever look back.

Have confidence in yourself

Animals deserve kindness too.

Truly love yourself first.

be kind and thoughtful.

Always walk with God

One day at a time

Always put God FIRST!

This too, shall pass... my granny

Choose kindness every day

From the 12-step tradition - more of a mantra than advice, but I like it for radical acceptance: "Bless them, change me."

Choose your partner carefully

Be grateful ~Embrace Life

You are a masterpiece!

5 words. "Respect is earned not demanded". My favourite saying.

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GreyFeathers

2 days ago

Auntie S, this one is for YOU!😆 ... See MoreSee Less

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No. It gets done right away. Takes a few minutes and I don't need the clutter

If you have the right number of clothes you can just pile up the clean ones and use off that pile until they’re all gone. Then run another load of laundry.

I'm proud of myself because I got it all put away on the same day as washing and drying this week.

I guess I’m a weirdo but wash, dry, fold, and put away all in same day!!

OH MY!!!!!! You're supposed to put them away?????? LOL

I chuckled at this. Some women take housework way too seriously. Relax.

Can not stand to leave laundry, I have to take it straight out of the dryer and fold hang and put it away.

Wash, dry, iron and put away, all in the same day. Couldn't be doing with clothes hanging around the house.. Now dishes, that's a different story. lol

I'm sorry but I don't understand. The laundry isn't done until everything is hung, folded, and put away...the same day it gets washed. ALWAYS. That's how my sister and I were raised. (That way all of your clothes are available for the week!)

I air dry on hangers. That way, when it's dry it's already on hangers, but things like towels and sheets are overwhelming to put away.

I force myself to put it away - immediately. Can’t live in a mess. The washer takes longer than 30 mins unless you are using rapid wash.

I could not sit down if my house was not picked up and clean. If that is a sickness ...I'm guilty...lol

I don't use the dryer very much, it is one of my little ways to help save the planet. when they come out of the washer (and the bags I use for bras, sweaters, fine fabric shirts, then they are hung up on hangers with top buttons done up etc. and put on an over the door rod, the undies and pants go on the drying rack. then I just grab the hangers and woosh there in the closet. the other stuff is so minimal it takes no time. but the drying rack is never put away

Washing 30 minutes or by hand, drying with solar and wind power on the line. Summer sheets 5 min. Other things 30 min of good drying. Fold perfect put away perfect.

Or never, just wear them right out of the laundry basket 🤣

🤣I was doing laundry in the apartment complex facility years ago, this bouncy guy takes a shortcut through and says hi and asks working hard? I say No This Is The Easy! Stops in his tracks and looks at me and says Say What 😝 I say the Hard Part Is Putting It Away. He says So Right and we both laugh 😂

Good thing about it...you know where it’s at,on the dryer folded,or still in the dryer😜

Simple House rules Make a mess - clean it up Take it out - put it back Turn it on - turn it off ANYTHING found laying around TODAY - Will NOT be found anywhere tomorrow

"Put it away while it is in your hands" my mom

Oh I know the feeling putting away and if I have to iron! 🙄

Always fold mine on the same day.

My laundry room is attached to my master closet. Easy to put away immediately.

Nope I put them away right away!

Not here, it may take weeks to set in motion but finished in 2 hours or less

That’s impressive ; some still keep in basket and pile new clothes on top 😂😂

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GreyFeathers

2 days ago

An oldie but a goodie. ... See MoreSee Less

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I was told by my second grade teacher that I wasn’t any good at art because what I drew never looked like the real thing so I never participated in art projects. When I was sixty a friend dragged me to a spirit painting class where I discovered I’m good at combining colors and painting energy. Love painting “outside the lines”💚

My sentiments exactly I did teachers training ,hotel management,airline ticketting fare s I learnt to operate a computer and the phone a ll after my son grew up and yes I am not great at all these things lately I have also been going to baking decorating ( cake) classes. I am 70 and love doing all these things life definetly is a journey where you learn things every day ..

If you don’t try things how will you know if you are good at them? Even if you are good at them maybe it is not something you really enjoy. There are still so many things I want to try in my life. Love this.

I belong to a quilting group on Facebook. Time after time people will post - “be kind this is my first quilt and it is not very good” First thing I say is it is beautiful and then I say any flaws make it uniquely yours.

Thanks for thispost. I too have never been one of those people who never have been great at anything I needed this encouragement

Never be afraid to try something especially if you have an interest in it. You just might surprise yourself at what you are capable of doing. If it doesn’t turn out, that’s ok. Try again or just ad it to your list of accomplishments, because you did try it and that counts for everything.

I worked as a nanny to a family the parents took the children to a party, one of the other mums was boasting about her children,apparently they were brilliant at everything, she asked the mum that l worked for how good her children were at activities and how good they were at these things,she didn’t know what to say,when she came home she was very upset,she told me what happened,l said her girls had fun doing these things,l don’t think the mother has got over my inability to understand 😂😂

This is how I feel about my quilting ability

Love this💖‼️Not every child is going to be an excellent student, have their pictures in the yearbook pages of joining all the clubs…but they are still destined for a good life…

How absolutely true this is, just enjoy doing things, and enjoy life.

Trying something new, whether you are good or bad at it, is still a great experience and a learning tool. Enjoy life a try different hobbies !!!

Powerful post! My 6th grade teacher told me I was stupid because I failed a test. She said if I would study than I would have past. I told her I did study. That is when she told me I was stupid. She had my brother 2 yrs earlier and he was a straight A student and did not have to study. It came so easy to him. He would sit down with me the night before a test and go over the subject with me asking me questions and I knew the answers. So, because of her comment I have felt stupid all my life. The only thing I felt I could do was crafting, which I enjoy. It was the one thing my parents would encourage me to do. They praised my projects.

Love this!!!! Even if it’s not your thing you have a part of life where you tried and experienced something!!!!

And trying out skills, develops a deeper appreciation of music, art, sport, cooking, etc .

"Failure" in multiple talents creates by proxy a singular successful talent based on the amalgamation of experience

My mother used to say "if you don't try. you already lost". She also said "it's not how you fall down or fail oh, it is how you get up". I read a lot when I was young and almost every successful person has a failure story, more than one. I have a friend that is older and she never painted before and sat down and just tried it without lessons. Her paintings are wonderful she had a hidden talent and she is enjoying every moment of it at this time of her life! I have as much pride in her as if I had accomplished something LOL

You do things to enjoy..and to learn. What makes up the enjoyable side of life.

This story should be framed to be on the walls of family homes!🙌👌

I was thinking the same thoughts yesterday as I drove to Banff with my grandkids!

I love this mindset! We can't all be perfect! Plus it is interesting to learn new things. I have often gone to a class on something and really learned I like it very much! How will you ever know if you don't try it.

I believe in lifelong learning

Such a wonderful perspective. I think many people hesitate to try new things for fear they “won’t be any good”. Do it for the simple pleasure of doing it.

It is so true. Sometimes you do things because you think you are good at them, only to find out you are not that good. But, don't give up. If you enjoy doing it, keep on doing it. Persistence carries.

You’ve got to be willing to do something badly in order to ever do anything well.

Some things you will be very good at, some things not so good, but you will never fail at anything.

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GreyFeathers

3 days ago

Relief from Grief

A kind gesture can reach a wound
That only compassion can heal
Be generous with your blessings
You never know how other’s feel

Someone standing right beside you
Can be drowning in their grief
Your simplest of comments
Might bring their heart relief

We can never know
Or really ever understand
How many are just waiting
For someone to lend a hand

Or a listening ear,
Our souls hear every word
The pain shared between
Two hearts is easier to endure

Compassion is never wasted
It’s a gift that we can share
It only takes a moment
To let someone know you care.

Written by: Kala Cota ... See MoreSee Less

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I found the most help for dealing with grief when I found a friend who would listen to my stories about the end of my loved ones' life. Not once, but multiple times, we shared what we went through before our spouses died. Gradually, we were able to move on, but having someone who listened and understood was invaluable.

Grieving has no time limit. It takes as long as it takes. Recovery is slow and realisation of not having the loved one around can be a hard thing to do. But, we that r left behind, should cherish our life and keep going to keep the memory of the loved one alive.?

It took my son 20yrs to finally say goodbye to his Dad, let him go he knows he's in a better place no more suffering

Grieving is a natural process by which our mind,heart and body deal with the loss of a loved one।We all grieve in our own ways and in our own time।For some the healing is quicker and some take a little longer।

Nobody needs permission, its a natural process, we all grieve in our own way.

My son died too young- 40ish. My husband was 89. I don;t think I will get over grieving for my son, but I will my husband who lived a good full life!

I still have no one special to share that journey with. It was quite a journey with my husband

Yes I’ve seen grief come out in many many ways Anger ,Retrieving , Pain in the body ,Depression and Stoic and just silence

Grieving is an individual process, and it never hits two people the exact same way. You can give others advice based on your own experience but that might not be right or adequate or even meaningful for the other person.

I always remember the stages of grief spell DABDA

My mom has recently died and I seem to have mastered peeing while crying. I had no idea it was a thing

Finding spiritual balance is the greatest assets we can ever achieve as humans in order to find lasting blessings and peace ☮️

Especially for my husband and his siblings with recent loss of their sweet mom and my sister's family at recent loss of her husband.

It's a very personal process and everyone is different. No right or wrong way

Tim Zubas book on grief is great

A lot of people don’t show it when they are grieving but their are the ones that say sorry to hear or for your loss well the ones can’t even acknowledge it

QUANDO VIVI ANGOSCIATA DA UN VITA .ANCHE UNA MANO TESA TI SEMBRA UN MIRACOLO.

To the management team on this site. Time you did some investigating. Every time I comment some slimy bugger hits on me or some bitch asks me to invest money. Time to stop this shit now before you loose members

Amen

Phyllis Kaye Bajzik Jackson

Beautiful

Grief IS the last rib

Tiffany Alexander Rouse

💔

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