“I have been married 40 years and work full time. I am very active but my husband won’t do anything with me. I tried taking him walking in the forest. He was sullen and angry…
I joined fire brigade to have something to do with him. He stopped going. I am planting hundreds of trees on the back of our farm. You guessed it, he has never come and helped. I have owned my current horse for two years; he has never seen me ride him. Today I changed the oil on our generator. Did three loads of washing, vacuumed, cleaned solar panels on a ladder and plank. When he got home from work all he wanted to know was why I hadn’t carried down the drop saw from upstairs to cut wood for the fire. (I asked him to help me with this early in the week as it seemed awkward to do)
He works hard but has an ongoing problem with alcohol and just seems so resentful all the time and lacking any energy or drive besides work. I am supportive of his work and try not to expect anything from him. He sleeps for at least 11 hours a day and more on the weekend.
I feel very lonely and feel that he just doesn’t appreciate the faithful motivated wife he has. We could do so much together but I just keep doing it all on my own. It’s not worth the eye-rolling and hand to his forehead I get when I ask him to help me. I’m not sure how I ended up like this. I don’t know how to fix it. I am thinking of seeing a councilor for myself but I know he wouldn’t go. Do many of you have partners this age who have changed to become like mine?” -Anonymous