Defend Myself from Family

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“My entire family have turned against me (all cousins and aunts) because of a huge lie my sister and brother began as a complete smear campaign that I am just finding out about. My cousins, brother, and sister live in a different state than I…

I had an 89-year-old aunt who passed away recently. My sister did not go see her or call or send cards. My sister and brother told all the relatives that I must have told my recently deceased aunt, horrible things about my sister. But in fact, I had told her to call our aunt or go visit her to ask her why our aunt wasn’t speaking to her, my sister never did that. When she and my brother told everyone their version of a made-up ugly story that I would do that to my sister – all return calls were not returned by cousins and all private family pics vanished and posts disappeared and no pics were left.

How do I defend myself with a large hurtful smear campaign.” -Mel

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18 thoughts on “Defend Myself from Family”

  1. Have you ever heard this expression: “The guilty dog barks first?” That sums it up! You offered your sound advice. They didn’t respond appropriately. They can not smear your good name unless you allow it to happen. Hold your head up. We have one life to live and you don’t need to justify anything. Keep calm and carry on! Wishing you happiness.

  2. No need to defend yourself from lies. The liars will eventually and (most certainly) do it to some other family member and then the family will realise they judged (and condemened) you wrongly.

  3. I agree. Don’t even try to tell anyone the truth. It will come out on its own. You don’t need toxic people in your life. Sounds like your whole family is toxic. Live your life and be happy without them. Toxic people can’t stand it when your life is good and happy.

  4. You should ignore it. Stirring it up will make you look guilty. And if you get asked about it, Say.. “What did you hear?” Let them tell you.. and just reply “And you believe that?” and shake your head. It gives them nothing to repeat, and stops gossipers.

  5. It would be great if you could record them admitting that. But if you can’t, then I think you’ll have to just let them go. If anyone asks, you can share the truth.

  6. My family is super toxic also – I get pushed to my breaking point and explode and they all sit around and point fingers at me. I have always taken a leadership role since my 3 siblings are either too lazy or stupid (or perhaps both) and they sit and armchair quarterback. Now my 89 YO mother has gotten scammed out of tens of 1000s of $ and they are enabling her. I actually take action to put safeguards in place and they pick and pick at me. PS: I am the only one not married so they expect me to sacrifice my life to caretake my mother (which I will NOT be doing) as she is not a nice person and was a terrible mother.

  7. We cannot control what others think or do, and it is none of our business what others think of us. Your conscience is clear, so let go of whatever is hurting and frustrating you and get on with living your life. Eventually the truth will leak out, and even if it doesn’t, if people are willing to think this way about you and your supposed actions, then you don’t need them in your life anyway. Fill your life with people that love and trust you. Do things that fulfill you and make you happy. Live in peace and contentment and do not allow anyone to rob you of that. I’m praying for God to bless you with peace of mind, body and soul. 🙏❤️

    1. Faye’s reply is exactly right. I’m at the end of what you’re going through and I AM backfilling my life with people that have always been my friends and better than some of my biological siblings. I talk to God and Jesus alot. They are in control and drive your life. Trust in them.

    2. Faye I agree with all except the none of our business what others think.
      That is not true when lies are spread to deliberately shun a person.
      There are laws about libel, slander for that very reason. Opinion is one thing that yes, is none of our business really. What she experienced is libel, slander in actuality.

  8. Remember ….. You do not have to defend or explain what you have not done ….. brush the crap off your shoulders and you will feel lighter ❤️❤️❤️ I’m Experience It helped me 🥰 cheers Cazza ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  9. I’m sure you’ve heard it said there are three sides to every story your side, their side, and the truth and it’s a shame that there is so many small-minded people in this world. Just put your head a little higher can you give yourself a hug everyday I know the pain you’re going through I’ve been there. And there is karma

  10. Went through something similar. Lots of hurt and no apologies. I tried to remain friendly and open and forgive them.
    It’s been 20 plus years and some are still hurting and not speaking. It’s hard.

  11. WOW…some family! Take comfort and strength in “knowing what you know” and let them stew…eventually someone will want to hear your version of it…until then there’s not much you can do but go on with your life

  12. All you can do is know your own truth, trust that the lie will come out over time. If these family members go along with the lie without thinking “That’s not like her..??” then you are well rid of them. Down the track esp younger members may reconnect. You can tell them simply and quietly, short and sweet.

    1. It’s not uncommon. You must also understand that the others who listened to and believed their story, without asking you for your version, are complicit for whatever reason.
      You know you have done no such thing.
      So, get on with your life. Fill it with those who love you,with things you like to do.. Be happy.. It’s your life..

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