Demanding Granddaughter

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“My 13-year-old granddaughter runs my daughter’s household! If she does not get her way, she yells and screams and hits on her mother!

11-year-old grandson bears the brunt of sister’s bullying! They are both on medications for ADD, ADHD, behavioral issues etc. Daughter goes to psychiatrist and tells them what she thinks is going on and he prescribes according to this! Daughter says the granddaughter is a work in progress! The grandson is medicated because the granddaughter can’t stand his humming and noises! She has the last word on everything!

Grandson can’t ride in the front seat of the car because she is older and demands respect! Daughter was unable to get either child to attend school most of this past year so is now homeschooling them and that has not worked out because they won’t do the work for her either!

CPS was called when granddaughter threw a metal can at grandson’s face and stitches were needed! Daughter’s husband says it is good this is happening now instead of when granddaughter reaches 15.

I have suggested counseling, inpatient/outpatient care, etc. I know I just have to let it play out as it will, that I’m not in control! I am thinking that the only consolation is I will be hopefully dead when things go horribly wrong. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?” -Anonymous

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13 thoughts on “Demanding Granddaughter”

  1. There’s a lot going on here. Help is needed for the daughter, the grandkids and even for GMaw. This is not a dynamic that can be changed without professional help. I believe raising the bar at this point will be very difficult as the behavior is firmly in place.
    You don’t have to carry this …. it sounds like you are.
    This family needs intervention immediately. Verbal abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, questionable diagnosis and medication and total lack of respect will turn into much more serious issues down the road.
    You must be so overwhelmed by this. Start with you, get the help and support you need before wading into their issues. Healthy, informed you will be much more capable of helping this family recover.

  2. There is something that could possibly help… CBD! You mentioned ADD, ADHD and other emotional/ chemical disorders. Sending her off to a camp only helps because she isn’t there causing issues. If you and her parents want to truly address the problem, this could very well be a solution! Your granddaughter is trying to deal with a rage within her and isn’t doing so successfully… she, too, deserves to be happy! Private message me, if her parents are willing to try! It will have to her parents, since you are not her legal guardian!

  3. I don’t agree that the answer is to send them to a ranch or group home . I think the entire family needs extensive group therapy and the children need psychological and physical testing immediately and diagnosis must be based on the drs findings not the mothers perception of their behavior .

  4. Maybe a group home for each child according to its need. Sounds as if need discipline & structure. Mother & father either overwhelmed and/or incapable of providing those very essential guidelines. Let professionals handle them, then teach mother & father how to address those issues.

  5. These children sound as though they do indeed have difficult behaviour. Humming and making sounds is one sign of sensory issues . They do this when they cannot cope with being over whelmed . I have been here . I raised a daughter with extreme behaviour she would regularly smash things , hit ect. There is no point expecting that they will have normal reactions to things like saying no to them , they don’t because they have a disorder that is the point . You’re daughter sounds like she is overwhelmed and needs to have a calm structure in her home . Set routine, stick to it . Look at diet – reduce processed food , no soft drinks . It can really help make a difference . You can be the support person for your daughter . Help with the shopping or cook once a week for her . It can be turned around . I do not condone hitting children . If they hit you remove yourself and any siblings from them until they’ve calmed and then speak to them about it .

  6. We don’t know how she was raised and that will determine the steps to take. No steps taken is wrong and steps taken will be hard. But the question is who is in charge, who is the adult, who is the smartest and who has the responsibility to save her from herself.

  7. Why is a doctor prescribing drugs, based only on what the mother is saying, the children need to be seen immediately!

  8. Of course!! It is a living nightmare to live with a child like this in the home. For a grandmother it is scary because, you don’t want your daughter to be physically hurt or maimed or poisoned or ultimately, killed. Unless she is emancipated, the parent is responsible for any damage or destruction..the daughter makes…on the other hand it is very difficult to let go of someone you birthed and brought into the world and lived with your whole being…it is very difficult.

  9. Boundaries haven’t been set, have they? Ever? Then reinforced. Parenting is tough and sometimes you have to change tack. Hard to do in the thick of things. Too hard to offer solutions not knowing the people. Been getting away with things for too long!! Not nice to to be around young ones like that. Maybe they need to be given responsibilities but sounds like they are verbally challenging, send them to a hard working ranch for a few weeks. Get them around animals and working physically hard.

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