“Hello GreyFeathers Community… I’m seeking advice from my ladies 50+…
Have any of you lost your attraction to your husbands? I have been with mine 20 years. I am 53 (and have been through menopause already) and he’s turning 60 this month. When we met, our connection was intense and very deep. It still is. He was virile, confident and passionate. We had such plans for our future!
I have resentments and trauma built up because of all his health & financial issues. I’m angry that he doesn’t take care of himself like he should but if you ask him… he is.
We really don’t have a sex life anymore and I shouldn’t be okay with that but I am. I still love my husband very much and have no plans to leave him. He has many wonderful attributes which is why I fell in love with him and on good days, I’m reminded of that. On bad days when he’s been throwing up cause of his meds, or is in more pain and has no patience with anything. Our options of things to do is extremely limited because he can’t walk for more than 10 minutes and won’t use a scooter or anything else.
He thinks my disinterest is because of menopause… must be my fault of course. He really doesn’t see that it’s him. There’s nothing left of the man that used to excite me. And watching him be in pain every day and struggle to move doesn’t make me want him to exert himself even more. I feel so torn. It would kill his ego and our relationship if I said this to him. We’ve developed a lifetime together but at what age do couples let go of having sex and why?
I’m healthy and fit and feel like a huge part of my life is being sacrificed. The person I wanted to share my adventures with is disabled now and has encompassed that identity for himself. Part of me understands that he didn’t ask for these health issues but he did and still contributes to why it’s so bad. So, I feel resentful that he won’t take better care of himself for me and for a better future. He’s given in and taking me down with him. I need some advice. Thank you for this great community” -Anonymous