Ever Thought of Running Away

This post is also available in: Italiano (Italian)

Calgon Bath Remember that Calgon commercial from the 1970’s? Calgon promised it would take away your stress and pamper you in a bath of luxury. The point is that sometimes we want a do-over. We know in our hearts that running away won’t solve anything. It won’t take away our illness, or our debt, or whatever our current situation is. But in our minds, crap, where would we go?!!  The possibilities are endless! Some days I actually think about going to Maine and starting over. I think about my life at the ocean, wind in my hair, sand in my face… green flies biting the crap out of my arms. But at least it’s not here, you know what I mean? In those five minutes of blissful thoughts I get a little time-out. Walking down the street is good enough sometimes. Heck, just grabbing a magazine or your favorite book is all that’s needed to take you away. Do you remember your mother’s words about “putting on your big girl panties” “this too shall pass” “it’s not as bad as you think” “girl, if you think this is rough… you got a tough life ahead of you” “if I could make it all go away Helena, don’t you think I would?” Before my mom passed away I asked her, “when does it all end mom?” She responded, “when you’re dead Helena.” How’s that for a little reality check? You would think once your kids got to a certain point… or your marriage lasted over 20 years… or when you retired… or survived cancer. But my mom was right. Your wanting to run away is a forever fantasy. In my opinion, as a woman, we are caregivers by nature. Ok, some of us are not as caring as others, but genetically speaking, we take care of everyone. Of everything. We are the glue that holds our world together. But somedays we just can’t DO. We are done. Out of pocket. Bag is packed and ready by the front door. Who are we? How did we get here? It was just last year when we said, “I do.” And only yesterday when our kids were born. This yearning of wanting to run away is worldwide amongst us greyfeathers women. I was speaking with my husband’s 33 year old cousin from Italy. She told me her mother used to always say she was going to run away. I remember my mother peeling out of the driveway some days when I was a teenager, and my father would say, “what’s gotten into her?” Looking back now, as my mother’s age, my father was clueless. Mom was stressed! One day about 10 years ago, my daughter and I were in the car going to pick up dinner. I said to her, “Honey, how about just you and me run away together, like a little adventure for maybe just a day?” She said, “Let’s go!”]]>

  1. I have thought about “running away” waaaaay too much lately. I feel tired, old and useless. My heart breaks daily stressing over things I cannot control. I cry at random times. I feel angry at random times. At times I just wanna scream at the top of my lungs until I am totally exhausted. Then I get a reality slap(usually the clock indicating its time to go to work) Being a woman going through menopause for the past 7 years really sucks. I thought having a monthly period sucked….HA! Give me that any day over menopause . Thanks for letting me rant

  2. So, YES. I have actually done it. Always came back, but a change of scenery has become necessary from time to time.
    Thank you for this as it reminds me that I am not alone.

  3. Planning to run away got me through years of difficulties. A woman needs a few good friends to run away with from time to time. I always knew when I started fantasizing about a nice hotel bed with room service , TV and my books it was time for a break .

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