Finding a New Path

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Kathy’s story: “I’ve been a lifelong caretaker: oldest of four with a bipolar brilliant mother who had a stroke at age 41. I moved back home to care for her and my youngest sister (age 10)…

When I met the man I would eventually marry, we lived together for eight years in my family home. We married and had a beautiful daughter. When she was not quite two, and I was pregnant with our second daughter, my husband suffered an accident at work which resulted in a traumatic brain injury. At six months, I miscarried, due to stress, they think.

After two years in rehab, my husband was moved to a nursing home, despite my attempts to bring him home. By this time, my mother, who had been an incredible help with my remaining child, developed COPD, and became very ill. I took care of her at home until her mental health and COPD required a nursing home. She passed away in 1997.

My daughter and I tried desperately to maintain a close relationship with my husband. Eventually, after 13 years alone, I reconnected with a dear high school friend, who came back to our village to be the love of my life.

My incredibly talented kid, a musician and artist, developed severe rheumatoid arthritis during college, which led to her death in 2010. Her beloved father passed one month later in the nursing home, to be with her in heaven. When she passed, she was our church choir director. She and I had sung and played music together all of her life. I prayed for so long for her to be healed, and felt in my heart that God took her home to heal her. I know in my soul that I will be with her again. She gave so much joy, as a teacher, musician, and human being, and did what she was sent here to do. And so I must go on and do what I was sent here to do also.

In 2013, my dear partner suffered a stroke which left him paralyzed on one side. He also was a musician and artist in wood. I cared for him here at home, and then lost him to cancer in 2018.

This story is long.

I am finding my way, through faith (which wavers, but always returns). I always hesitate to tell my tale, because it is too much to believe, even to me. But through community and faith, we can find a way Home.”

“We’re all just walking each other home” (Ram Dass)

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11 thoughts on “Finding a New Path”

  1. I don’t share my whole story very often, because sometimes it’s too hard for people to hear. I thank you all for your kind words & prayers. Right now, the world is facing so much hardship, & my goal is to do what I can in my little corner of it to help others get through it. We can’t save the world by ourselves, but we can do our best right where we are to do good…

  2. I would love to have been present the day the Lord looked upon your beautiful Angels soul and you asked Him for this life that you have lived. I wonder, did he say that it was to much, did He suggest an easier path? He must have loved you so much in that moment when you said,” Please, I can do this, I will do this, it’s my choice to love this much and to lose this much.”
    You are a beautiful soul and what amazing gifts you have given to those who walked your path with you. Thank you so much for sharing your story and for asking for nothing in return from us.

  3. A beautifully shared story. You have loved much and in that way have been blessed. The roses of your life came with many thorns. Nevertheless, you walked on. Bravo.

  4. So sorry for all the losses in your life! Thankful for the joy you shared with your daughter through music, as well as sharing that joy with others. Life’s winding road has many ups and downs – some days are good, while others get a little bogged down for a bit. Thankfully, the sun and the Son continue to shine down on us as we continue to new adventures. Love, hugs and prayers for you!

  5. Precious memories of those you love. They would want you to find your bliss and live out your life full of joy. Sending you serenity and peace and yes, happiness.

    1. May you find peace of heart and mind while continuing on your life’s journey.
      God bless you with both and more. 🙏❤️🦋👏

  6. The thing I see here is a very strong women!! When we have the Faith we can get through anything and everything!! I step at a time, one day at a time even when we waiver we can luve a very great life!! Blessings

  7. Life, wonderful as it usually is, can certainly deliver some hard kick to the head. I am so sorry for all that you have been through and would never wish to minimize your emotions. In my experience, God takes every hardship, every heartbreak and every joy to lead us to a deeper understanding of His love. I get the impression that you have been working through grief for many, many years. It is not a path that is clearly marked and there is no time limit on how long we grieve the loss of a loved one. Your courage and faith are strong and have seen you through so much. You are a warrior woman.

  8. you certainly have your hands full
    it takes alot of courage and strength to get through something like this and sometimes people dont understand but you did it and i am proud of you

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