Hair Cut

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“I am curious if other women feel invisible.

I will be 53 soon. I have two kids in college. I have always worn my hair long-ish, about to the middle of my back.

I got it cut last week and it now brushes my shoulders. No one noticed. I cut eight inches of my hair, and no one said anything.

Finally my youngest noticed and said something after he had been home for several hours. No one at church said a thing. I was not fishing for compliments, and my feelings are not hurt. I just feel invisible.

Does this happen to other women of a certain age, or it is just me?” -Anonymous

(the photo is a stock photo)

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52 thoughts on “Hair Cut”

  1. Listen… if you smile like is in that picture where your hair is red-ish, there is NO WAY they can NOT notice you. You made a big change …maybe people don’t know what to say? Just smile that beautiful smile… it will come back to you. You look beautiful!

    1. I agree…you’ve got a stunning great new look! Some people won’t recognize you….some will be pea green jealous…and yes…to some whose selfish lives only look inward…you’re invisible to them. Keep experimenting and enjoy being beautiful. I’ve been in your shoes as a longtime long hair lady.💃

  2. Wyes us ladies of a certain age become invisible. Until someone younger wants a favour, but just means you can observe people. People get puzzled by us laughing and not taking notice of younger people. Enjoy life your hair looks great.

      1. I had this conversation several times recently – the older I get the more invisible I become ! I too had my hair chopped last week ! Some noticed and commented but the majority didn’t seem to notice ! I’m not fazed by it really but it is odd how this “ invisible “ feeling works 💕

  3. Ironically, I am also Peggy! I choose to be invisible. I had a career that kept me very visible, I’m now retired and tired of being visible! I have to make myself go into the public at least once a month. I enjoy being invisible for the most part. I enjoy not having to answer to anyone!

  4. I had the same thing happen. My hair was long, had it cut above my shoulders, went to work and not one single person said a thing. I have noticed since getting older I have become much more invisible to everyone but my husband (thank goodness). I always notice hair, clothing and makeup, but that’s me.

  5. Wow, I always show my hubby and share when ladies on any of my other group sites change their hair styles, wear something different and beautiful, or the one who has been on a couple of TV quiz shows, played the attached links of the said shows, and now the proud mother of a baby boy. I can’t believe tho definitley could believe that people are soooooooooo engrossed in a small corner of life NOT to see who and what is around them. On one tv show, they did an experiment on family life and especially how children/teens react to their surrounds when being on their electronic devices, and this may be as true with adults. While these teens were at the family table waiting for dinner, different people> not family < were brought to the table @ differing times then exitted and replaced with another person. During this experiment non of the children/teens noticed or enough to even say anything. NOT ONCE.. Wow. This next illustration may or may not relate to your Q +observation, but as children we were brought up to always be aware of WHO is around us. Hold doors open for elderly or disabled. Help them carry bags groceries. still now as an adult, I have still maintained that culture. I will notice + remember the same persons @ the Mall who shop on the same days as myself, offer compliments if their hair/ shoes or dress is lovely, different, colourful ect. surely we can't be losing that human element of communication and interaction !!!! ????

  6. I mentioned once to my husband that I often feel invisible in public because women of a certain age just don’t get noticed and he thought I was crazy! I’m 49 and he’s 38. Most of our friends and the people at places we frequent are his age so I never expect to be the knockout of the group! I also work with about 70 other women of which at least half are in their 20’s or early 30’s. I’m not invisible to him even though I have also gained the post menopausal weight and feel frumpy! Some days I look better, sometimes I don’t really care! I’ve found the older I get the less vain I am and it’s very freeing!

  7. Yes, it’s happened to me, too. I’m almost 53, and when I turned 50 I stopped dyeing my hair. No one noticed, no one said a word–to this day.
    However, on the plus (?) side, I’ve gained about 45 pounds over the last 5 years (ah, perimenopause, you’re such a b*tch!) and no one has said a word about that, either. In fact, I ran into someone yesterday I haven’t seen in 6 years and she told me I looked “great” and “have I lost weight?”
    Be happy. You DO exist, and you enrich the planet by being here.

    1. You look gorgeous! I find a lot of women are skimpy with their compliments. I don’t know why, perhaps it’s because they too, feel invisible. And, when another women does something to improve herself they feel jealous. I make sure to compliment someone that looks good, dresses nicely, or smells good. I think it makes them feel good and it makes me feel even better! Life is good when everyone tries to make it that way! 🙂

  8. I’m 57 and yes we do become invisible in certain circumstances. As Gena Rowland said in “ 6 dance lessons in 6 weeks”. A woman without a man becomes invisible. I’ve been widowed since I was 45, once I hit 50 it was all over.

    1. NO WAY ! Life doesn’t have to be over because you don’t have a man! Go have fun! Get a fresh hairdo, makeup and some new clothes and get going! No man needed! Girlfriends are a blast!

  9. I am 66 and have been invisible for awhile now. I remember reading a series of books about a woman of a certain age that was an amateur detective. She could solve crimes and get information because nobody noticed her or paid any attention to her if they did. Very humorous. I guess you have to see the bright side of things at whatever age you are.

  10. They never noticed??? Are the blind!!! You look awesome with your new look and color! AWESOME!!! You look young and full of life! I love it!!! I am 65 and color my hair my natural color….my mom still hasn’t figured it out….she thinks I just won’t ever get gray hair I guess! LOL!

  11. Ironically, everyone failed to notice that these are stock photos. I, too, usually feel unnoticed. However, I attended my grandsons wedding this past weekend and several people told me I looked beautiful. I was deeply touched but I wonder what had changed.

    1. You look great and I love the color change! Yes I am invisible too! Recently went to my son’s wedding and worried over my outfit and hsir and not one person told me I looked nice, not one! Makes me want to give up!

    2. Yes , my older sisters warned me that the day would come when you are invisible . Now, not only am I invisible, if I require interaction, I am met with faces that appear that they are smelling something unpleasant. I was young once, and looked better than they ever will ! 😆

  12. I am invisible too. I am okay with it because I am very visible to the ones I know and love.
    Not sure why no one would notice such a big change but you look fabulous and I see you👍🤗

  13. My husband, on my last haircut merely said “did you do that on purpose?” Nearly 70 and don’t care anymore. Your cut is lovely on you!

  14. We are invisible. Maybe this is why older ladies become more opinionated. I have quit apologizing for taking up space and breathing air. I’m only invisible now if I want to be.

      1. You look fabulous!!! When I begin to feel invisible
        I like to think that the people in my life see my beautiful insides and the outside never really matters. But I always get up, make up and dress up for me.

  15. Oh Yes I’ve noticed….THEY DON’T NOTICE OR RESPOND….bit I am convinced that it speaks volumes about “them” than it does US!!! WE have got to go for our gusto and do what makes our inside and outside happy and the sad/selfish people just won’t give pickups because they are not happy people…BE A HAPPY PEOPLE…..!!!!

  16. I’m NOT invisible. I know that! Nor are you. People are seeing you..as the wonderful person you are..making no need for observations, on the outside.

  17. I think the new cut and color look fantastic! I think most everyone is use to seeing us one way and when we change they have the “old” us implanted in their heads and so they just don’t notice. Don’t be shy, say hey look at my new doo and then they’ll notice!

  18. Same. I’ve gotten haircuts. If anyone noticed, they didn’t say anything. It is the nature of humans to be more interested in ourselves than others. We tend to think others are thinking about us, but they’re consumed with their own thoughts.

  19. Sometime people are jealous of an awesome change! Others say nothing because they “don’t want to,inter or call attention to things.” (That was my mother in laws mantra.😞) look good for yourself and you won’t be invisible as you hold your head up with a smile!

    1. You look great! Much younger and brighter. Don’t feel bad. My family never notices changes that I make either. Your smile brings out the beauty. Smile often!

  20. Enjoy your new look. I really do not think people always notice a change in style. I know I am tuned into voices more then visual. It is simple the way my brain works. Once I put purple highlights in my hair and hubby did not notice for three weeks until he saw me in the sun, and he is a guy who often compliments me on what I am wearing. Who knows? I mean they were PURPLE.

  21. I know exactly what you mean!!! I always feel invisible!! But, your hair looks fabulous!! And I’m a long haired girl saying that—looks super good!!!

  22. I find it impossible for anyone not to notice such a huge change. I understand your feeling invisible over this. It looks really lovely. I sure would have noticed. ❤️❤️

    1. Don’t feel bad. Some people are so self absorbed they don’t notice anything. I bet a lot noticed but didn’t know what to say, some aren’t good at giving compliments. As long,as you’re happy with yourself go for it.

        1. Me too. Cut my hair from waist length a few years back and no one noticed. I did…hurt really bad because I loved my long hair. Now…I am letting it grow. If they don’t see me.. I will be me and be happy. Growing very slow.

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