Jane Doe came to me privately and asked for a prayer request. I would never say no, but here’s the thing, it’s not a “normal” prayer request. It’s not for an illness or a disease or an operation. It’s not for an upcoming exam. Nor for travel.
It’s for acceptance.
She writes, “I haven’t seen my three children and five grandchildren for 18 months. They and their spouses decided they didn’t want to have a relationship with my husband John (of 12 years) – they just wiped him from their lives. This meant there would be no seeing the grandchildren anymore, whom adored him. Reason being they are just not comfortable with him?! But wait, they said I am an amazing Mum and Nana, and I would have to find a way of continuing my relationship with them on my own.”
She Goes on to Say
“I live 2 hours away from 2 of my kids and my oldest son lives in Texas. I told them that this would not be happening and John comes before them and if they don’t accept him they won’t be seeing me either. John and I have the love of the Lord in our hearts and we are trusting in Him with this, however it’s very difficult for me.
John has 5 grown kids whom accepted me “day one.” I love my kids 42, 39, & 37 dearly and I have even asked for forgiveness for hurting them with my divorce, with no response. We’ve sent gifts for the children for their birthdays, again with no response. My eldest is a Pastor!!!! My husband is a good, respectful, and kind man and doesn’t deserve this.
Sorry to go on but I am hurting. My daughter and I were close, I don’t understand her. She and her brother do not walk with the Lord. Only [the] one who is in Texas.”
Jane explained that from the beginning of their marriage, none of her children accepted her new husband. But in time, years passed, it seemed like everything was going well. She socialized with her children and grandchildren quite regularly. At some point her daughter spoke with her privately, and said she spoke on the behalf of she and her siblings, and they no longer wanted John to be a part of their lives, although it was fine if Jane stayed in contact with them. She said time and again she would visit, without her husband, and the grandchildren asked repeatedly where their grandpa was.
Her daughter simply said that John had done nothing wrong, they just didn’t want a relationship with him anymore.
Just Like That
And just like that she hasn’t seen her children or grandchildren in 18 months. She told me her favorite Proverb 3:5-6, which says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” These are the words that Jane lives her life by.
How can this work out so that everyone is happy? All of the time wasted by not having each other in their lives – just a waste of friendship, family, and love. Years you can never get back.
Maybe the acceptance that Jane and John are looking for, could possibly be their own? Not in the way of the children accepting John as their grandpa, but perhaps for Jane and John to accept their lives without their children and grandchildren.
Have you encountered a similar situation after you were divorced and gotten re-married with your children and grandchildren?
Is it possible, in your quiet time, that you pray for Jane’s children to accept her husband and their marriage? And as well for Jane and John to accept their children’s request.