Anonymous asks, “I am 60 years old and have been going through menopause for approximately 12 years. Mood swings (anger especially), increased anxiety (I have been anxious since I was a child) lack of patience and a severe lack of libido…
My husband and I have always enjoyed a good sex life but during the past eight years I literally do not care if I never have sex again. I’m even having thoughts that the actual act is dirty and demeaning. As a young teenager, I was sexually abused by the father of children I babysat. I never mentioned this to my Mum or anyone as I was sure that I would be blamed. This man still lives in our town.
I also had a very bad two-year experience in my early 20’s with my boyfriend whom I lived with. He became very violent when he drank alcohol including making me do disgusting things in the bedroom/shower. These thoughts are for some reason coming back at me 40 years later.
I love the closeness of a cuddle at any time but at bedtime I’m scared that it will turn to more and I don’t want that. I feel extremely guilty about this and am so very grateful that my husband is understanding. He doesn’t even try to initiate sex anymore for “fear of rejection.” He is 65 years old. A very loving and kind man. I feel that I am not mentally able to have sex anymore.
Has anyone had similar experiences and if so, how did you get through it?”