“GreyFeathers, I write from Italy but even I’m so far I need your help.
My husband is ill having great problems with his heart.
It happened 26 years ago when he was 45 and I was 44.
He had the breaking of his aorta and was saved with a surgery of about 17 hours. The doctors said he had no more of one year of life. That was 26 years ago. He didn’t die but we spent all these years in and out of the hospital.
The last autumn he entered the hospital the 14th of September. Every day doctors told me he wouldn’t last the night. On the 6th of December the hospital told us to take him at home to die. We didn’t bring him home but to a beautiful place where you receive only palliative treatments to keep him comfortable until his death because this was what he wanted.
But after three months without special medicine he felt better and stood up from the wheelchair and he put on weight arriving to a normal weight.
He is at home now. At the home that was of my parents with a caregiver and I’m in my home next him.
I was his caregiver for 26 years. I also had a surgery the 5th of June and I can’t to do it all alone.
The problem is that he is continually saying that he wants to die. I feel psychologically very tired because I’m afraid he can do it. I know that he has the right of choosing for his life but it’s difficult for me to accept It. Also, because I think he would live but not so well. He should accept his actual condition.
I feel destroyed, my son feels destroyed – but he has his family and his job which helps occupy him.
The good thing is that now we live in different houses so I can sleep at night. The bad thing is that I have so much anxiety for him.
Excuse me, I only needed to pour out my sorrow.
Excuse my English but when I read you all, you look to me a great beautiful family.” -Marina