Online Dating

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Anonymous writes, “At age 60 and after 34+ years of marriage, I find myself re-entering the dating world — and in a new city to boot.

In an attempt to meet appropriate men I have logged on to three different dating sites in the past 18 months and have been the victim of one narcissist and two catfish. To say that I have learned A LOT about men and myself is a major under-statement!

I enjoy my life—I have a strong tribe, my life has purpose, and I have an active family and social life. But I do miss having a romantic partner to share that life with; the right man is something that I WANT to add to my life.

I can now recognize narcissism and “catfishing” behaviors in men but at this point I’m about ready to throw in the towel on the entire male population. In fact, I have given up on all dating sites.

Who else in the Greyfeathers universe had this experience?
I appreciate your input and advice.”

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24 thoughts on “Online Dating”

  1. Hi! I’m new to the group. I was married for 25 years and my ex decided he wanted a girlfriend and not a family. So I moved south, bought a house and started a new life…and that included entering the scary world of online dating. Yeah, I met some real jerks and a couple scary guys, but then I met a guy at Barnes and Noble…yes from an online site. We had coffee and talked for a while and it was great. Simple and sweet. We decided to try it again…and he called about once a week to try to set something up. I was still getting my life in order and told him that it might be a while before I was ready to really jump into dating. He was very understanding. He did call periodically to check on me but no pressure at all. Then one very rainy miserable night he called and said “ok…I’m taking my life in my hands driving in this horrible storm to meet you for dinner…I hope you’ll be there” I did…and in December we will have been married for 7 years. So there are still nice guys out there. My guy is wonderful…be careful, be picky and be strong…good luck!

  2. I was divorced after 27 years of marriage and finally jumped back in the dating pool thru online dating sites. I definitely met my fair share of creeps, but I also met a good guy. We ended up deciding to stay friends at the time, but he after some time he confessed that he really screwed up with me in making that choice. It took him some time to realize that his fears held him back from what may have been the best thing for him. Shortly after we decided to stay friends, while my mother was critically ill in ICU, I got a msg thru FB Messenger saying, “Hello! I think we might be neighbors.” We are in a coffee group together and lived about 20 minutes apart. It took a couple weeks before we were able to meet face to face, but here we are 3 years later together and very happy. My suggestion would be not give up on online dating, but also to expand your options in just making friends. Join FB groups with people you have common interests (I know of another couple who met in a coffee group and are married now) or find Meetup groups to join. You never know, but if you approach things with the intent of just making friends it might work out better in the end. Good luck!

  3. I am 65 yrs old and recently met a wonderful man on dating app. We had several phone conversations before meeting in person. I texted with several but he is the only one I met in person. Have been seeing each other about 2 months. Don’t give up, there are some sincere men out there.

    1. I too divorced after 23 years and moved states away tried online dating sites. Craziest responses, over sexed values and zero communication skills. Done and done

  4. You have more confidence than I have miss having someone to talk to joke with and laugh with. But I don’t have the confidence to do anything about it. So you do whatever you want to and good luck to you.

    1. My husband and I met using e-harmony in our mid 50’s. I felt the men there were pretty straightforward and honest about who they were and what they wanted. I went out with 3 before meeting hubby.

  5. I am 62 and have been on-line dating (off and on) for the past 7 years. I have not been successful. Have now hid my profile once again. It doesnt seem to be the answer for those over 50 years of age.

  6. Any time you are single looking for ‘the One’ it’s tricky. I have nieces and nephews who have found the perfect partner online. I’m not sure what the secret to weeding out the weirdos is, but I think it’s a good alternative to the bar. One thing I believe, with all my heart, is ‘put it out to the universe’. What I mean is really figure out what it is you are looking for in a partner. Get out a piece of paper. Make your pros and cons columns, and start writing. What traits do you absolutely want in your, and what will you not tolerate at all. Be specific. Look at it daily and adjust if needed. I know it sounds a bit hokie, but it works. If the universe knows what you’re looking for they will help. I did this over 30 years ago. within a couple of months, I met my husband and have been together ever since. I have one of the keepers. Best of luck. I’ve given this advise to others and it has worked for them as well. There is a Mr Right for you.

    1. My daughter & granddaughter helped mdcset up my profile on an over 50’s dating site. There were a couple of strange people, but I met a great guy. We’ve been living together for over a year & will get engaged in the next few months after my granddaughter’s wedding.

  7. Yep…friends w/ benefits….uuuugggghhh. Call me old fashioned but I want to know someone and develop a friendship before the benefits kick in. And sloppy kissers…I feel as if I’ve been run thru a car wash with the windows down. Think I’m just going to call off everything and become a crazy silver haired lady that is happy. Sick of these men that need a pill to get it up and then are the worst partner ever. Hello…you’re only a legend in your own imagination! And you aren’t God’s gift to women. Get real or get out of my life!

    1. I came upon a picture on fb recently of a shower head running water full blast, and the caption read….He asked me for a shower picture, so l took one and sent it to him. I never hears another word from him. This online dating is so confusing. I literally laughed until l cried. At 78, and after looking into some of the sites that are claiming to be for seniors, l have decided that being single is the route for me. Plus there is the fact that God has blessed me with a few very special friends…both male and female…in my life. So, my life is good at this time. No offence is meant or intended in this post. Just hoping that some will get a giggle out of it. 😲🤭🥴🤣 🙏❤️🤗🙏

    1. E X A C T L Y! Guess they never really get it and I’m not out to bolster their sagging ego or equipment! Move along!!!!

    2. Spot on!! I have turned all my resentment to the makers of Viagara! Men were not meant to be able to have sex into their 90s. This gave men and women to share conversations, and adventures without always having that problem in the background! Horrible for us.

  8. My experience with online dating was that no one was really who they said they were. I gave it up and finally accepted a date with a man who had been pursuing me for years. He is exactly who he says he is… putting extreme political differences aside and trying to tolerate his six indoor cats… we enjoy each other’s company and get together a few times a month. We both have been single over 10 years and recognize the advantages of that.

  9. Years ago I tried online dating & met some very nice people. I also met some not nice ones. It was like Russian roulette. Now I find most are narcissist a**holes. I have been on my own for years & will remain so. If God puts someone in my path I won’t turn away, but I’m not looking. I’m sure there are good men out there I just haven’t been fortunate enough to meet them. Good luck with your search.

    1. I too was widowed at 44 yrs old. I had never even been on a date with anyone else. I started online dating. I met the usual horror stories, catfish, psychopaths. I was so tired, decided I would give it one more try and be done. I met my now husband that day.He is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. I know it’s a god awful cesspool online but if you give up, you have nothing. Please dont give up. It may be like looking for a needle in a haystack but good people are online looking for a good relationship

    2. I have tried online dating on my 60’s and found that most men fall into 1 of 3 categories. (After you get past the multitude of scammers)
      1. They are looking for arm candy (a barbie doll).
      2. They want a friend “with benefits”. Heavy on the benefits.
      3. They are looking for a nurse.
      I know that God has someone out there for me, but I don’t believe they are on any dating website.

  10. 25 years ago, at age 40 I belonged to AOL and went into some of the chat rooms, the last thing I wanted really was a relationship. I had three troubled kids, and belonged to a group for people recovering from addiction (yes I was an alcoholic in recovery). I was looking for support, others that had children and were trying to make my new lifestyle work.

    On my 40th birthday I was in the chat room and began privately chatting with a guy that lived 250 miles from me. We clicked. He was going through a rotten separation and I had been divorced for 8 years. This was in March. By June we were talking about meeting face to face. I knew his real name, his profession and I also knew people from online that could “check out” if he was telling me the truth, he was what and who he said he was.

    To make a long story short. We had 2 dates and he asked me to move in with him, WITH my kids. 25 years together. Married now for 19 going on 20. You can never be too cautious, never ask too many personal questions. Check them out, make sure you aren’t dealing with a scammer!! Do NOT lose faith, the right one will come along, remember you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your Prince!

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