“I am soon to be 57-years-old and have a situation that seems to have always been there with my father… the last episode was the end of July…
The family was all together at my parents house for a barbecue before my father went for a heart catheterization. It was my three grown children, their spouses and my seven grandchildren. My father seems to be very rude and hurtful and I won’t stand by and have him treat my kids or grandchildren like that if I am around.
My 13-year-old grandson went to get a second piece of watermelon which his parents bought and brought to the barbecue . He isn’t obese by all means and he is almost 6 feet tall at this age and growing like a weed (maybe you could say a few extra pounds) but I highly believe his body needs that so he can stretch if that makes sense.
My dad, who is obese, looks at him and says something to the effect of, “I don’t think you need another piece the way you look.” I probably don’t have it exact, but it was meant that way. My grandson’s parents were in the other room and I gave my dad a look and said, “that’s not very nice.” He looked at me and said “don’t look at me like that before I knock you in the head.” My Mom did tell him to be nice. I was devastated, embarrassed and very hurt. I said, “that’s some way to talk to your 56-year-old daughter.” I held it together and didn’t cry there, but did on the way home.
I haven’t wanted to go back for overnight visits and my mom doesn’t understand and feels I should just blow it off because he is sick and doesn’t feel well. He can be nice to others at times but I seem to be his target. My mom is hurt that I let that keep me away. She says I should just walk in and say, ” well I’m here to visit” or something to that effect. What would you all do in this situation?” -Anonymous