Grief/depression Healing

I spent five years taking care of my parents (both have passed last year.) Yet I can not get on with my life. Depression consumes my life. My sleep has no schedule anymore. There are days at a time I don’t leave the house, change clothes, shower. I live alone in the country so no one sees me. I am miserable. I want my life back and to find purpose and happiness again.

I have never been in a funk this long and I do not know how to find joy. I am grateful everyday I have a home, food, car, my basics are covered but I am becoming a hermit who doesn’t care anymore. I cant find my way out of the hurt and the fog and now the holidays are coming. Does this overwhelming sadness ever end? Where is the motivation to go on?