Healing and Provision

I lost my son at the age of 24, six months ago. His baby was born three months ago. After grieving himself to death, seven weeks later, my ex-husband passed away, leaving my two daughters without a father.

I sit here everyday and watch us all face the reality of losing them, and see the awareness of such piercing pain. The thought of him and his emotional pain, what led up to his death and the events surrounding it torment my mind daily. It is a moment that replays over and over and I can’t make it go away.

I hear testimonies that despite the loss and pain, God wants to restore joy and goodness. I ask Him regularly for that, because that is hard to fathom.

Upon my daughter’s father’s passing, a lot of financial burden was passed to me. He paid their car payments, insurance, repairs (they are older cars), phone bills, and my oldest’s gas to nursing class ($200 a month) as well as diapers for her baby. This is all on top of rent, utilities, my car payment, etc. Normal bills for the average American, but I am barely getting it done.

I am still single. After working online for a huge company I was laid off a few months ago. I have started a service based business online, but I NEED to build a clientele base.

I want to serve who God wants me to, offer the services that are a part of His plans for me (written in His book before I was born) and I want to thrive. I live in a VERY small, rural community and the best I could do would be minimum wage which would be a 1/3 of what we need to meet bare necessities.

Both of my daughters need auto repairs, one is possibly dangerous. My youngest is a server at a local restaurant, she helps the best she can.

And my family needs healing, to pull together not apart. We need miracles.
Thank you for praying.
Blessings.