Sensitive Situation

This post is also available in: Italiano (Italian) “Ladies, I need some advice. I am a widow with…

This post is also available in: Italiano (Italian)

“Ladies, I need some advice. I am a widow with two daughters.

My daughters are not terribly close in age and although the three of us live in the same house, my oldest leads a completely independent life. She graduated from college several years ago, works full-time and lives in our basement apartment.

My youngest is headed off to college this fall. For her high school graduation, my youngest wanted to take a cruise to Cuba which we booked but later had to cancel. My oldest was very upset that she was not invited… now she wants to be more involved.

We are planning to take a 9-day cruise next summer and my youngest told me she would prefer that her sister stay home. I honestly do not know what to do. Help! Has any one ever faced a similar situation and how did you handle? Thanks.”

  1. I would have to tell her either both go or none of you go. You eldest girl would be hurt.

    kids always need to grow up. Sometimes we all do
    make this memories to treasure 🦋

  3. With your trip being so far out. Can your eldest truely make the time to go? Maybe plan a separate Mother /daughter time with her. That way you can give her the individual attention she needs. What is something she has mentioned she really wants to do?

  4. My eldest was and is the bossy one. She now lives in Australia and we love and miss her loads. Last year she was sick and needed an operation. She had a wedding invite in France and we all went out and had a holiday with her. She was still bossy but we love her. We had a really lovely time and it was very special. She thought so too and felt loved and special. Memories are so very precious. Take the holiday together you don’t know how much time you may have together.

  5. It’s your younger daughter’s graduation gift and she doesn’t want to share. Why should she? Maybe your older daughter could book her own trip and meet for a couple of days, if that’s agreeable with the graduate.

    1. I have a large family of ranging in age from 37 – 22. Although at times the years had them going in different directions, when possible we brought them all together for life celebrations, graduation , weddings, babies etc. I would have a discussion with your younger daughter and explain to her that you are all one family and you would like to use this occasion to celebrate and perhaps bring all of you closer.

  6. You should all go. If one is excluded, it is likely to cause some long term resentment

  7. Hi, sorry for you dilemma. Did your oldest daughter have a vacation after her graduation excluding her younger sister? You can go with the same set up as it’s all about being fair. Can you ask your younger daughter why she wants to exclude her sister. Maybe you could do one on one weekend trips. Be fair but let the wants inspire more trips together and one on one. Blessing to you all.

  8. To say my Mother favored my sister is an understatement, it can destroy families. Don’t divide them, you all should go!

  9. My husband and I have five children; two are grown and out of the house, two are in college and the baby is in high school. We rarely take vacations together but I make a point to try and get away with with each of the kids individually whenever I can. We LOVE having that time together. I would say go on the graduation trip with your younger daughter, plan a family vacation later and tell your older daughter maybe we be a big girl?

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