“I am in my second marriage and have been married for 18 years. My husband is a good man, but very untidy and unmotivated to maintain our home…
We have a very good income, but he will not do maintenance and will not allow me to hire anyone to do this. We have lost 100k of our house value and it is currently unsellable due to repairs needed.
I work full time at a stressful job, I have a chronic fatigue disorder and I am responsible for all household chores, cooking, cleaning, shopping, bill paying… and I have to clean up after him too. He does have a physically demanding job and I try to offer grace and try not to be selfish and demanding. But I would like a nice, clean, safe house to live in. Especially since we are getting older.
I am ready to just walk away from everything – but I am not in an abusive relationship and I do not want to break my marriage vows. I am so torn.
What can I do? I don’t like conflict and if I say anything he just gets mad and yells and makes being home very uncomfortable. I have recently hired someone to come in and help me clean and organize – so maybe I will feel better at home… what would you do?” -Anonymous