Anonymous writes, “I am wondering what to do with an issue that really bothers me. We’ve been together for 25 years, and when we first met and hung out with friends, we all smoked pot…
As we got into our 30’s, I stopped, because I thought, “ok, we’re adults with responsibilities, and it’s time.” My husband however continued to smoke, with his friends, and at home.
We’ve had many arguments about it because I’ve told him, among other things, that I don’t want to be married to a pothead; it’s illegal; and that if his life is so “whatever it is, stressed, bad, etc. that he has to get high every night then he needs to change it.”
We are now in our late 50’s. I think it’s time to grow up… not to mention it’s expensive. We came to a compromise, and he agreed to only smoke on the weekends, (which also means that anything done away from the house on weekends has to be done by me, because I won’t let him get behind the wheel if he’s been smoking) but I’ve caught him several times “sneaking” a smoke during the week, usually after I’ve gone to bed, “because I had a stressful day,” or “I’m on a vacation day.”
We are starting to argue about it again (and besides this issue, we rarely argue!). He doesn’t “act high” so most people have no idea… he works hard, does not drink, or gamble… but, there’s this. Any advice?”