Stay in South America or Return to the US

“Hi everybody! I’m in desperate need of honest advice. I’m 57 years old, born in NY, and at…

“Hi everybody! I’m in desperate need of honest advice. I’m 57 years old, born in NY, and at 11 years old, all the family moved to my stepmother’s roots in South America…

At 37, I moved with my husband and two kids back to the States where my dad’s family was. Ten years in the States, my husband decided he unhappy, moved back to South America and later my youngest son followed him; my oldest still lives in the US. We separated, never divorced, and always got along pretty well.

I was living with my boyfriend and after four years discovered that he was looking for same-sex relationships on Craigslist. Don’t know if he did it, but I read a few emails of him looking for sex. He always denied, even though I had proof. Being that I didn’t have anywhere to go, I stayed living in the house and we became roommates.

I went to South America after a few years of not seeing my son and family, and got together with my husband, got back to the US, grabbed my stuff and two months later I was living in South America again. Everything was ok, but as months went by, I wasn’t feeling it. I got frustrated, the relationship with my husband wasn’t what I expected, the economy sucked and I felt like I became 10 years older.

I have no money, it’s impossible to save, so I’ll have to ask for help and my pride gets a bit in the way. I’ll have to start from zero in the US, living with family (they offered) till I get on my feet.

Should I just give up and accept this situation, stay here frustrated and a bit unhappy and when I retire I can live off my retirement or should I go back find a job and start over? On top of that, my dad (85) wants to return to South America because the exchange rate is in his favor. He says that if I go back to the States, he’ll be miserable, (which he’s not, he’s living with my brother and he’s very well taken care of). He plans to come to South America for three months, so I’m stuck here for a few more months if I decide to travel. Thank you for reading me, I have thick skin, you won’t hurt my feelings so… what are your thoughts?”

17 comments
    1. Do you really know deep down what you want? Maybe to scared and fearful of making your decision!
      You are a very strong women , once you let your strength come out , make your decision you will flourish! and you will be strong on your own
      Do Not under estimate your amazing qualities
      WE CAN DO IT
      TRUST YOURSELF💝

  1. No matter where you go, there YOU are. Doesn’t sound like you weren’t truly happy in either place.
    Get a job, support yourself and stop relying on a man. Great satisfaction and pride come from independence.

  2. Come back to the USA this is a great country.Live with relatives for awhile get a job an your apartment. Youll do fine.

  3. We here say Go to US. Land of opportunities. What are you waiting for? Return to US. You will find your happiness

  4. Don’t let a man (or anyone else) dictate you happiness. Sounds like they have made their choices for themselves, it’s your life. Do what makes you happy.

  5. Geographics never work.
    Moving to find happiness is not the way it works. You just take you with you.
    The happiness needs to be found Inside of you.
    See a counselor work through some issues before you jump on impulse again. Happiness is not in a location.

    1. Find peace in your life. When you are completely at peace then you know that you have found your place. Peace came only be found through a relationship with Jesus. Good luck and God Bless you on your journey to self acceptance ❤️

  6. That YoYo life your living is nuts… Stop considering what others want and listening to what they want… Your really are at a age where starting over is rough, you should already be setting life to retire, not still playing pick a life like teenagers… I wouldn’t pick a major city, like New York, Chicago or any city in California… Jobs around here are plentiful if you want to work, except they are not high salary so you’ll need a part time job too when you settle… Covid has caused a lot of the better paying jobs to go away along with the business… It isn’t easy starting over at this point in the USA, much less at your current age when you really should be in retirement planning… Stop playing YoYo like a kid and put some roots down to be able to retire…

  7. Coming from someone who recently started over at the age of 59, there are alot of ideas I would like to give you. First of all, you have to know that moving back to the states is a “God” idea. To make such a move, you have to want it with all your heart because it’s not going to be so easy at first. I moved back to my hometown after being gone for 30 yrs. fresh off a divorce after 25 yrs. of marriage. A friend gave me a job that I love and with my divorce money, I was able to buy a house outright. But, I had 2 1/2 years after my divorce to heal and understand why I made some of the terrible decisions concerning men that I had put me in the situation I was in. I literally would go to work and come back and sit by myself to ponder and come to some conclusions. I had to forgive myself for marrying wrong in the first place. I hold no ill feelings towards anyone because I made my own decisions. So that being said, make sure whatever decision you make about your life, you make it with a clear head. You can’t move on unless you understand why you’ve made some of these bad decisions to begin with. You want to make sure that you never ever make those bad decisions again. You can’t move back to the states because you think things may be better here for you. You have to move back because you’ve prayed and you know that God has put it in your heart. I wanted to move back more than anything and I didn’t let anything get in my way. You can’t be willy nilly about your decisions concerning your future, your job, men, friends or anything else. Starting fresh is amazing in every way. Especially when you have your head on straight with friends and family that support your decision. God bless you and I hope you consider my words.

    1. My input is this: If your struggle is anything like mine, it’s not a Where problem; it’s a Me problem. Get right with your heart and soul first, so you will know what it guides you to do. It’s difficult! Check in with your fears and find out what they say about strength. And so on.

  8. No matter where You go or what You do You take YOU with You . Like me, it sounds like it is past time for You to get to know who You are and what You want out of Your life. We all have a streak of strength in us if we will only seek it out and act on it. You have this too. Stop running! Stop trying to please amd satisfy the wants and needs of others. Stop and think only about You. Bring God into your life and find the oeace of mind, heart and soul that He offers you. Then, when you feel strong enough and determined enough to know what you truly need for You and You only, make your decision as to where you want to be…and live it. Love Yourself! Now is Your time! ☀️🙏🦋🤗🙏☀️

  9. To repeat a quote I read….”straighten your crown, girl…you’ve got this”. You are young…set goals and celebrate every small step toward finding you. The day I looked in the mirror and said “I AM ENOUGH” my life changed and I was much older than you are. Don’t waste any more time. Please life is too short to worry about “stuff” just make a decision and live by it and keep your plan fluid…let it evolve but don’t just sit there waiting for something to happen. Look inside, you already know.

  10. Combine Where are you want and where are you can afford to be so that you know where your best Happiness can be found and you can feed yourself. The sounds like you really wanna Be in the states. I wouldn’t waste any time. Make a good plan.

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