Struggling!!

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“I was married for 18 years, divorced for over 28 years, raised two children, never remarried because I took my vows seriously and now at 65, finally free of vows…


My ex-husband passed away unexpectedly in February this year and I feel as if my vows have been lifted.
I have always wanted a good man in my life.
Where do I begin?
Willing to listen to all points of view.” -Pat

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12 thoughts on “Struggling!!”

  1. Hi Pat –
    I read this and thought WHAT? It sounds like me! I’m 66. I was married for 18 1/2 years and single for 28 years…..AND my name is Pat! (only real difference is that my ex is living) Spooky!
    And I’m actually still single with no intention of marrying (I’m fond of my independence) – unless God says otherwise.
    My sister is 78 and just married (3rd) in August. Someone she met in church.
    I wish you all the best in finding love again – someone who will truly cherish you.

    1. I was married 17 1/2 years, divorced now almost 25 yrs. Finished raising our 2 sons, never have had a real boyfriend, but I did date a few times. I’m 58 will be 59 in june

  2. You are a brave and decent woman.You did what you believed to be right.Just remember Dear,you are complete in yourself.Go forth and do the things that bring you joy and if true love finds its way to you, embrace it.Dont go looking for love ,you can’t risk being heartbroken again at this point in life.Best of Luck to you!

  3. Wait for it to come to you. I know from years of experience that love comes when you are not expecting it. Just enjoy life knowing you are free and ready when that step comes.

    1. i lost my husband of 44 years almost 3 years ago, i’m not looking for anyone. I will never marry again. At my age “mid 60’s” all you are seeing is men other women have thrown to the curb. and i don’t need to have to take care of someone at my age. I do great taking care of myself.

  4. Get a flattering makeover to give yourself a lift. Personal confidence makes a woman very attractive…..and a smile. Then go to places of interest that have things you like. Like plants or books or a film festival or a jazz festival….somewhere you could happen upon someone by chance but you are also in your own element. Give it up to the Universe……say thank you for everything you have in your life…..get peaceful…..then ask to meet someone who is kind and intelligent, who will meet you half way….you know who you would like. But when you start to meet men be careful. Look for red flags. Lots of men are not the nice people they would have to believe they are. If he sits there and talks all about himself and doesn’t seem to want to listen to you…..you can carry that into the bedroom with you because it’s all about him. During first encounters the idea of sex comes into both of your minds. You worry you will be rushed into something you aren’t ready for. He’s worried he will fall into the friend category. Don’t do a single thing you aren’t ready for. Go at your own pace. If he can’t understand why…..take him to the curb. Your husband just died. It’s hard to get involved with someone else without feeling some disturbing emotions about it. Much affection to you my dear. I would love even to be asked to go out for a cup of coffee never mind anything else. I’m a wrinkly 70 year old……invisible hahahaha!

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