Take What I Can Get

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“I married very young, and my husband left me before our first child was born.

I lost most of my family because of my decision to choose him over them. I was young, foolish, and in love and the only way he would have me back was to live with his father who hated me.

He never was faithful but I didn’t care when my children were small (I did care really but wanted to keep the family together). When they grew up, I got very lonely and met my now husband. But I handled leaving home very badly and left one of my children to live with my husband. Something I had discussed with the child (15 years old) as I had no home to offer to them. I walked out the door with the clothes on my back and left the family home so they would always have a home to come back to. A very bitter divorce ensued and eventually he turned both children against me.

Twenty years of lonely Hell have passed now, and the wife of one of my children got in touch some time ago to allow me to see the grandchildren of their marriage. I was reluctant as I was afraid it would be a one-time deal but all was going well until lately, and now she says she is coming and she never shows up. I have no idea how to handle this. Do I cut contact or take what I can get?

I have never seen my grandchildren from my other child. My ex-husband spared nothing to ruin my reputation; my lawyer even said she never seen the equal of him. My children know he had other women while with me, but it seems that was ok.

Any advice greatly appreciated. Thanks so much to anyone who took the time to read this.” -Anonymous

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5 thoughts on “Take What I Can Get”

  1. I am so sorry for you. I agree with the others who advise you to wait for your grandchildren to come to you. You could write all that happened to cause you to leave and when they are ready you can give it to them……your story from your heart.(this is if they ever show up)
    Between now and then try to let it go and get involved in life and living. Life is too short to let our past keep us from living in the present. God be with you.

  2. I think that in time, your children will come around. When they are a bit older, understand life better. Be patient as best you can to wait it out. Hugs.

  3. They might never come back to you. Seems like they have taken the easy way out. Not necessary they believe your husband just it’s easier not to rock the boat. Children forget when they are supposed to keep secrets may have . accidentally let slip. You don’t know if she has been put under pressure. Just from now on concentrate on yourself do things for yourself. Else you will be even more unhappy

  4. So very sorry to you. Your ex sounds just horrible. You poor soul. I’m sure you are not alone but I bet you feel so all alone. I think I would take what I could get but I wouldn’t go out of my way for your daughter in law. Hopefully when your sweet grandchildren get older they will contact you on their own. I will send you strength and I will hope your children will eventually see what their father has done and realize how wrong his actions were. Huge hug to you!

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