“I have a son, 29 who is married to our former German exchange student. During their courtship things were rocky in our relationship (my son, the German student, and myself).
After they married, it didn’t get better. In fact, I got the call the day of the ceremony to let me know. They were in Arkansas and I was in Pennsylvania. He told me that it was “spur of the moment “ but had invited his father and step mother a day or two before and the marriage license was purchased 2 days prior.
Flash forward – now they have a child. My first grandchild. When the baby was born, I got a text. That’s it. Nothing but a text after the fact and no information. Friday, he did call from Germany to say the christening is Sunday – in Germany.
My son and family live in Arkansas. We have been there twice in the last year. Once before the baby was born to help prep meals, paint the nursery (my husband painted a beautiful mural) and to build a changing table. Most recently we went to meet our grandchild.
We have been excluded from most things that are important to families. We have tried and tried to bridge whatever gap is causing the issues. I’m a Christian so I obviously pray about it and humble myself to them for the scraps I get. They say we teach people how to treat us. I don’t recall teaching my son how to hurt me. My husband and I have a great relationship and do not model anything but love, kindness, sacrifice and forgiveness.
The pain is almost unbearable now. I have looked forward to being a grandmother for so long. What am I doing wrong? I know the issue is my daughter in law’s contempt of me. I know she’d rather me be completely out of the way. When I asked my son privately what I could do, he said I just needed to give her time. It’s been many years and I feel like I’m the only one making any effort. Please help me. What am I doing wrong? My heart is completely broken…” -Anonymous