What Type of Friends

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Robin has a question. “This is not about “body shaming,” insulting someone’s size or anything like that, it’s just a question…


People dress differently, we’ve all seen things we wish we could unsee as well as seen that body we wish we had. Different shapes, sizes, etc.
Senerio….
You are ready to head to the mall wearing your favorite leggings and t-shirt top that goes to the top of the leggings. You have a slight “muffin top” which shows when you lift your arms.

Would you rather surround yourself with friends who will look at you and tell you that, “perhaps you should choose a longer top to cover your tummy.”
OR
Have people who tell you that you look wonderful the way you are dressed?

Again I’m not insulting anyone… it’s something I have wondered about for awhile now. I know what I prefer, wondering how most ladies think.”

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34 thoughts on “What Type of Friends”

  1. I once had mascara melting down one side of my face, and no one told me! I definitely think I good friend will be helpfully honest.

  2. I know what looks good on me. I love getting dressed. I just wear what I feel like that day. I know what to wear to a wedding and a funeral. I keep to the rule of my childhood from my Father – “you are not going to town in that”. It continues to serve me well.

  3. I have a limited wardrobe & sometimes I no choice but to wear things I don’t even like. So if it’s a matter of fashion choice, I would rather not have it pointed out b/c I will have to wear it again any way. But if it’s a mistake like being wrong side out or missing button, let me know when Im somewhere I can fix it (like the restroom).

  4. I HAVE NEVER SHAMED A FRIEND OR ANYONE ELSE, BUT SINCE I LOVE MY FRIEND I KNOW I WOULD ONLY SUGGEST IS SHE COMFORTABLE IN THE SHORTER BLOUSE HAVING HER LOOK INTO MIRROR, OR WOULD SHE FEEL MORE RELAXED ALL DAY SHOPPING BEING COMFY , LET HER DECIDE, IF SHE WANTS SHORT OR LONGER , BUT THAT IS ME HOW I AM TOWARDS FRIENDS’
    SO SORRY CAPS STUCK ‘

  5. We all have mirrors and already know the truth. I want friends who love me unconditionally just the way I am and do not feel the need to criticize. That is the way I love people. But if I am asked my opinion I will always be honest and want people to be honest with me.

    1. I only give my opinion when asked. Since body shaming is as old as sin and most women are self conscious, I feel if they want to know they will ask.

  6. I want friends who understand there are more important things than how I look. And who won’t offer unsolicited advice, and speak truth kindly and clearly when asked.

  7. I like my close friends to let me know when I look really good but say nothing when I don’t. Most of the time I’m sure I DON’T because it’s not very important to me. Once in a while, though, I take the time and it’s nice to get the feedback that I can still pull it off!

  8. The only truth in this scenario would be that your “friends” have an unrealistic and idealized version of what an attractive body is (“slight muffin top”) and are not accepting of anything outside of that idealized version. The truth in this scenario is that they don’t think you look good enough to venture out in public with them and that maybe you don’t realize (gasp) that you are at risk of exposing your slight muffin top. Which would obviously be humiliating to you.

    1. When people say they would tell the “Truth”…. here’s where I question. Because are they REALLY telling the TRUTH? Or are they just telling THEIR truth. There’s a HUGE difference.

  9. I wouldn’t want them “my friends” to say anything. If I feel good enough to put it on and wear it out anybody else’s opinion is not relevant. If You dress for You why do You ever need agreement or consensus. Hitler has consensus…consensus is not a measure of right or wrong.

  10. If they are close friends, they will tell you the truth. I would want to know before I wore a top in public that it complimented me and not showed me in a bad light. A true friend would tell you and not let you make a fool of yourself.

  11. I prefer the tell it like I see it philosophy. Yes, my friends think I am too blunt at times, but that is me. I want my friends to also tell me their truth. Would you let a friend run around with a bugger hanging out their nose, I wouldn’t. And I question anyone who says they never ‘judge’. Tell me what those little thoughts you have in your mind are? Your first thoughts.

    1. Honestly, who cares!?! I wear what’s comfy or whatever matches my mood. I don’t care if it doesn’t “show” me to my best advantage! Wear what you want and have friends who are just as uncaring of “how does this look?”, as you are.

  12. I would not set out to insult a friend, each to their own style and choice of dress sense. However if she asked my opinion I would be honest. Possibly answer that perhaps it is not the most flattering if her looks, but hey, if you are comfortable-…..

    1. I would prefer to be told it doesn’t compliment me. No reason to be rude about it, just nicely say a longer top might look more attractive. No big deal if it’s done nicely.

  13. this is a thought provoking question… I do sometimes wonder if people don’t have mirrors, or people that love them enough to give positive, constructive input about some questionable fashion choices, but, in the long run, everyone is unique and beautiful in their own way..

  14. It’s funny but I look at people’s hearts not there choice of clothes or anything else. We are all different in our tastes. The same for food, men in our lives and etc. I accept you as you are and will NOT try to change you in any way!! I am not here to judge!! Blessings

  15. I want someone to say that the color looks good on me. In later conversation ask about overall health, but no comments EVER on weight.

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