Would Like Some Advice

Facebook
Facebook
Instagram
Pinterest
Pinterest
Email Me
RSS

Anonymous writes, “I am only 53 and my husband is 54. I have been through cancer two times and have survived.

We’ve been together for 30 years. The last two years have been very hard, some days I feel like leaving and never coming back. I don’t feel loved or needed anymore by my husband. We haven’t been intimate in over six months, very seldom even touch each other.

He is a heavy drinker and it totally disgusts me; every day he gets drunk. It’s the same thing day after day. He is killing himself by destroying his liver. He tells me he loves me but he can’t stop drinking because he needs it for pain relief.

I’m miserable, I think I love him and he does take care of me. I have a permanent trachea due to having my voice box removed from cancer. Some days I wish I would’ve died. I want to fall back in love with him, I want to be happy again but I don’t know how. I want to have the urge to make love again. I would like some advice or learn of your similar experience. Thank you.”

Facebook
Facebook
Instagram
Pinterest
Pinterest
Email Me
RSS

7 thoughts on “Would Like Some Advice”

  1. April and DJ are giving good advice. I have found that feeling stuck,, powerless to control your own life is the worst thing. What keeps us stuck is we feel we have to know the correct thing to do, terrified of making a mistake of making it worse, balanced on a high wire. We dont,. We just have to take each best step. What is the best little step I can take right now. Eventually you begin to see a direction you want to move in, away from how you are feeling right now. Anything has to be better than that.

  2. Run to Al-Anon or anything similar in your area. Go to different locations, if you don’t feel comfortable with the first location. As your life is horrible, you will hear other horrible stories. Go to many meetings, if needed. And listen. Praying for you.

  3. I am a redeemed alcoholic and can understand the addiction end of what he’s going through. And he may or may not even want to quit. You can’t fix or force him to quit. But for me it too God, prayer and a very strong faith to heal. Eight years sober, and I’d still like a drink. But I don’t. You have to take care of you. Go to celebrate recovery, al-anon or some place where others suffer like you. You’re in a tough place. You deserve happiness and must realize he may always drink. Find God, find peace and move forward. Prayers for you.

  4. Oh, dear one, you have handled so much and it would be very easy to resent him for not being able to choose the suffering of getting sober to move forward with you. Alcoholism is a dreadful disease and not all are cured. It’s a tough fight, every day for the rest of your life. Have you ever gone to Al-anon meetings? Not because you need the cure, but because they are folks who have also lived on the planet where you currently live. Find a local meeting and let your tribe support you and clarify how to move forward.

  5. I am sorry I have no advice. Have not been through all you have been and are going through
    All I do know is from my experiences is every am and pm I prayer to god in my own safe place in the house an meditate and pray for calm with in to BE STILL and listen to his guidance. Pray for your happiness
    BE STILL BE CALM LISTEN
    HUGS TO YOU and PRAYERS 🌟🙏🏻

  6. With all you are going through and all you have been through, it is time to fix and care for you. Tell him how you feel. Tell him he is either with you to find ways to ease his pain and restore your marriage or he is not. No ifs no ands about it. Drinking will take everything away if he’s not careful. You deserve so much more. Once he says what is what, stand your ground. Have plan in place and go forward. You beat cancer 2 times. You are entitled. It will be painful for a while but your support group will get you through. Pray and know you are not alone.

  7. Look after yourself. He is an adult and knows the risks he is taking. I am sorry you are in such a terrible situation. You must do what is right for you. Bless you.

Leave a Reply